Mix and match

Something has surprised me since I am in China. When ads represent ethnic mixed couples, you will always find the same pattern: a Chinese guy married with a western girl, NEVER the other way round.



My European post colonial heritage and western prejudices first lead me to look for some inferiority complex as a potential explanation.

Happily enough I was wrong.

Then I thought about the image of ‘easy women’ that western women sometimes have in India or Middle East, where the few pornographic stuffs that get through cultural and government censorship come from abroad.

I was happily wrong again as I realized, when I finally got to ask the question to my Chinese colleagues.

It all goes back to the traditional role of the woman within the Chinese family.

A fundamental reason why most families in China still prefer to have a boy is because a girl is expected to ‘leave’ her parents as she gets married to enter her husband’s family and take care of her parents in law…

As the norm today, even in big cities, remains to have three generations living under the same roof; a western girl, with her different cultural background and her expected lower ability to communicate in mandarin, would not be seen as ‘qualified for the job’.

Or more brutally as my Chinese colleague puts it: in China it doesn’t matter who you marry your daughter to, but it’s a big deal who your son will marry.